more loss…dig deeper

Inadvertently discarding one’s email folder structure, files, and address book is a temporary setback (assuming these will be rescued and recovered or restored from a backup).
I don’t know the depth of what was lost. I don’t feel like starting over, from scratch, from nothing. All my custom rules, settings, plans, directions…gone.
Lost but not forsaken, like some forgettable experience. The beauty of change is it forces growth outside one’s own comfort zone. While looking for my game plan I found misplaced items from long ago (eMail – 1/26/08):

Hello eTeam,

This coordination effort for me is worthwhile because I can imagine gleaning the very best input on caregiving from advice given around the world. This is globalization at its finest. We have a game plan!



  1. Create a meeting agenda that is truly meaningful. In other words, recognize and accommodate as many variables as possible in advance.
  2. Design ground rules for the speaker that will guide them to give a brief presentation that meets caregiver’s needs to hear success stories and build hope.
  3. Provide notes for the table facilitators that help them with chores (we caregivers can be needy people and high maintenance).
  4. Supply program coordinator/hosting facility with notes so they don’t have to reinvent anything already working.
  5. Establish program directives from a centralized clearinghouse.                                      


  • Invite and enlist knowledgeable caregivers to join the ITN eTeam.
  • Collaborate and build a reliable format.
  • Generate the remainder of the support files, including worksheet s, with questions tailored to speaker topics.


  • Kick off the first pilot program (in KC).
  • Kick off pilot programs in remote locations (under supervision of eTeam members).
  • Kick off pilot programs around the world.

Please volunteer to help us with the pilot programs. Thank you for your consideration.


Our ****eTeam Goals***** were posted January 8, 2008. They weren’t just invented. We surveyed caregivers and solicited ****feedback*****.


How many plans are realized in the long run? Collaborate for success. Whenever someone/anyone wants to get on board, it won’t take an “act of Congress” or any other governing organization for them to "give it a try.”


You’ll notice quotation marks, slash marks and parentheses around a few words. We set up a system (a process, a structure—a program for self-help) to not offend anyone with poor word choices. It does not always work that way but we try.


Whenever you recognize some “poor, miserable rats” to be caregivers without support, are they rats because they are caregivers or are they without support because they are rats? Start a dialogue that leads to improved communication.


I excerpted my "Caregiver’s Manual for Men" with the spit and blood of my journal entries and a vision of hope. The first time I threw it over the fence I was asked to write a shorter piece: ****How To Become A Better Caregiver*****. This "Caregiver’s cause" took over my blog (why did you think most 2007 entries were eliminated?) . Everywhere I turned, people were asking for more help. They wanted more than a high school cheerleader. "Rah rah, you can do it." We deserve to win.


The best outcomes is for individuals to recognize their powers and responsibilities. When you become an advocate for a care receiver, please realize your limitations and recognize your need for support. Don’t be too timid and do find a source for empowerment. It is okay to seek and accept help.Do what you can but you can’t do it all.


I can’t guarantee this effort will do good for everyone but it is a starting point. It is like a treasure map. Lots of promise. Plenty of potential. Worthless if someone isn’t willing to do a little digging.

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