Critical Review

  • I sent the following message to a variety of people:
If you have any time to spare this weekend could you do a critical review of MLBerg’s Caregiver blog? *********. You may know I’ve been working on this for quite a while and I’m wondering what else needs to be addressed. I connected a skeleton and now it needs "fleshing out." Do you have any resources that absolutely must be shared?
  • I followed up with this eMail:

I’m sorry to intrude. You’re trying to keep the function of an entire hospital system from breaking down. What makes me think ********* has a bigger role?

Here is the best analogy I can make: I went to work the day after I proposed to Linda and hovered about 3 feet above the floor. Apparently I “skipped” from the front door to my desk. John was the only other worker present and he noticed my behavior. Later that day (after the room filled with employees) he called me “Zippy” and he proceeded to explain his comment to inquiring minds. I asked him privately to never call me that again. I thought it was a done-deal. Six months later I was married, Linda called and he answered the phone. (We had the “John intercom” system back then.) John announced “Dan, its Mrs. Zippy.”

We hired another guy and I mentored him on the job. John called Mark “Little Zippy” every time he saw him.

The worst/best of it was whenever Mark’s wife called. John picked up the phone and declared “Little Mrs. Zippy.”

Some 26 years ago the most gleeful moment in my life was squelched by ridicule. I became insensitive to criticism. I put my career first and never skipped again. I lost touch with my identity as a joy-filled, happy person. I guess I’m not the only guy whose priorities are out of whack.

Please take a look at the ITN files and consider adding a pilot program. I’m wrapping things up and moving on. The Master Navigation Map might help some (I can forward an explanation if it will clarify things). I have nothing else to recommend.

  • I received this in reply:

Hello Dan,

(We) are meeting today to further explore the idea of starting a men’s caregiver support group.  We want to thank you for your persistence in voicing the need for such a group.  We have talked to several men who indicate they might want to participate if such a group develops.

We have looked at several resources on caregiver support groups, both yours as well as others, including on-line support programs.  We will not be implementing any one specific group concept, including the ITN group as you have it structured.

One of our support groups offered here at (place) is about half cancer survivors and half caregivers.  This particular group prefers a less structured format.  When asked they have expressed they would not want a group very structured or would not want to meet separately from the survivors.  So it is a learning process that we are approaching.

We will continue to develop this group and will be happy to let you know when it actually begins.
Thank you again, Dan for your commitment on behalf of men caregivers,

  • My last eMail:

Hi ,

I am not immune to sacrifice. I am also Linda’s provider and caregiver. Two things need to happen. First you need to ask "Is what we’ve presently got in place working? Why or why not?" The second is we need this to be more life-giving.


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