An open letter

Hey Tim,

How’s it going?

Six years ago I thought Linda was going to die from breast cancer. Caregiving required doing everything imaginable to try and beat the cancer. There are no guarantees. People win or lose all the time.

We got lucky and won. Survival, recovery, recuperation and the new normal are all part of the journey. Why were we successful? I don’t know. It takes courage, compassion and commitment to give care, coping with certain and imminent loss. The future, present, and past are not nearly so important as a willingness to help. I had to change and accept everything as a gift. That way I would not be disappointed by anything that happens–EVER! Love for Linda is the greatest gift I know. I am grateful but I am not perfect and again, I am lucky.

What is the reason to advocate for men to become better caregivers? We’re not naturally nurturers. Without a promise of victory, why participate at all? You’re going to have to figure out your own rationale for becoming a caregiver. But other guys discovered motives and we’re willing to share them.

Hope this helps. Good luck!


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