Caregiver rants

Am I crazy? What was I thinking?
 
I’m not sure I can love again. I’m not sure I can go on.
 
I feel as though I never sinned but I’m here in hell anyway.
 
How’s it going? Is this horror real or imagined? I’m so helpless and it makes me angry.
 
I believe that I don’t understand you. The failures…the accidental stressors…what constitutes an emergency?
 
Meets expectations? La-de-f’n-dah.
 
How can I reconcile my feelings? If you had been… It would be easier if this were intentional. I could get over that.
 
Your traumas, your wounds. Intense. Our losses, securities abandoned. Secondary.
 
Fear. Deal with it. Anxiety. Chronic and perverse.
 
On the psychological and mental levels nobody is perfect.
 
Healing is possible. It’s not incurable.
 
Be more careful, less stupid. It won’t happen again. Who am I kidding?
 
How should I cope? This drives me insane.
Advertisements
This entry was posted in pain. Bookmark the permalink.