Disorder (ADHD) with a mild case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
and a strong case of anal retentiveness, throwing in some paranoia and low self-esteem?
Do you know the answer? Give up? I don’t know it either but if you find out please write the answer on a piece of paper and place it under a rock.
Anticipation does not replace happiness. Therefore it is only additive to cumulative effect. I was happy as a child. This was not the result of estimating what it would take before I could be happy and then achieving it. No, this was more like passive resistance to forces bent on reducing happiness.
I fell in love with Linda before I ever found her. Meeting her was just icing on the cake. In reality she was so much more in person than I had ever dreamed! She knew life was messy but it never stopped her from striving for perfection. Many times she reached it or got pretty close. She helped me change from "the destroyer" into "the caregiver."
Linda said I had ADHD. I never wanted to believe it because hers was a nonclinical diagnosis. I never said I was normal but I always tried to rise above average expectations. Perhaps the best examples of this anomaly came while I was a college seminarian. One classmate mused that I had so much going for me–brains, brawn, looks–why throw it all away? Another end of semester evaluation asked, "Will the real Dan Zeorlin please stand up?"
Do not despair. It is okay to be depressed. Like anything that is not permanent, this too shall pass.