What the hell is up with you guys?

I visited with a caregiver this morning. His wife of 49 years passed away last year. He believed right up to the very end (3 days before she died) the cancer could be controlled and she would survive. He still grieves. “Denial” he said. His focus is gone.

Similar but different from my own case. I was in “anticipatory grief” because I couldn’t imagine life without Linda. I decided then and there if she wasn’t going to make it then neither would I. I vowed to do everything within my power to create a haven for her. Amazingly the change in me affected the recovery in her.

Nobody can judge “what if” and “if only.” What if there were a better support mechanism for male caregivers? If only men could anticipate the grief which follows the loss of a loved one.

Nope. I wouldn’t wish those insights on anyone.


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