Formation of Coping Skills – Exercise #27 (Coping: Do Not Stay Angry)

I won’t be angry. Such is my prerogative and my promise to Linda. I agreed to be happy no matter what happens. These are commitments I make with God. I will endeavor to see bright sides, the positives, the plusses, and opportunities for gratitude. In exchange for what? A contract? No. God gives me grace to experience life through a larger community.

Does this necessarily preclude enjoyment of entitlement benefits? Yes. Although I achieved certain targets, goals, and milestones in life—most of which delivered rights to prospects—nothing guaranteed satisfaction. “IT SATISFIES” might be embossed on the lid of a chewing tobacco tin but those words are only enticements which snare the vulnerable with addiction. A seeker hopes to gain reassurance and can secure happiness by pledging “I will do my best.”

I understand that love is a choice. I vowed to love Linda until we parted through death. No security clause holds that something will be used as collateral, no agreement or stipulation asserts this will be an easy undertaking, and no warranty ensures we will get our money’s worth. If the only thing worth doing requires prior certification (“Worth Doing”) before it can be accomplished, we are miffed. Endeavors without a pledge or some official declaration often seem to be unworthy of our attention. Case in point: donate goods to the needy, volunteer resources which share advantage, and dedicate time or energy to attain solutions for global problems. Until encountering strong empathy for the underprivileged our feelings do not guide us beyond anger. Annoyance, irritation, and resentment keep us from growing.

I stopped short of reaching one goal but proceeded well beyond attainment with another. I missed a target to meet an objective. Milestone markers only act as place holders; most of the journey is what happens between starting and stopping points. Never be dissatisfied by helping others. Through meeting needs to be responsible, providers, enablers, and guides for future leaders we become freer to actively build hope. No longer looking forward to expectations on a passive basis we are part of a faithful team, striving to bring welcomed relief for leadership: changes from the overwhelming responsibility to do impossible work for seemingly ungrateful populations.

I worked the tasks of others in my career. I helped rear a family. Through this period our parents and elders of past generations passed away. Some joy, some pain, some profit, some hardship. Nothing prepares us for chains of hardship events. Start over after job losses. Begin again with relocation and uprooting. Recuperate after cancers. The day our daughter’s baby was delivered and died in the basement of our home was as irreversible as falling off a cliff. We never returned to normalcy. Instead we were scattered without clear plans for survival.

This incident was neither the first nor the worst change encountered. It did help me to realize I was angry about many things. Lapses in tranquility destroy relationships.

Do Not Allow Dark, Angry Clouds Control Over Your Mood

We’ve all heard the proverb “Into every life a little rain must fall.” Put into anger terms those words become “Everyone has something they get angry about.” The analogy is complete when recognizing life has pleasant and uncomfortable times, ups and downs, plus many sunny or stormy days.

The expectation “I will do the right thing and that’s enough to get what I deserve” is only accurate when tempered with  reality. Sometimes what happens next has nothing to do with truth. If the moon eclipses the sun, while I might be in the shadow cast over earth it does not have anything to do with where I came from or what I did. On the other hand how I proceed in the future might be influenced by past events. So although I worked diligently as an engineer for 25 years and exercised tremendous care for concerns of others, this does nothing to help the larger community to cope with diversity. Increase appreciation for tolerance by exhibiting patience to sort out complexities of life.

It is not enough to put a roof over the heads of loved ones. You must also learn to shelter aliens, protecting them from dangers and delivering the goodness which faith in God promised. This is manifest as either outstretching your arms in umbrella fashion or building a shelter but there are no “Do Nothing” options.

Anger Triggers Disappointment

I wish I belonged to something. I want to develop familiarity and become efficient. Why should this breed exclusivity? Every once-in-a-while I need a thorough cleaning. Like any visitor to a hygienist, I need to know: Does my (anything) stink? I save things. I retain links and supplant memories with “joggers” which will bring me specific awareness. What happens when my memory becomes imperfect (and it is)? Suddenly my past is a lie because I can not accurately reproduce details. If I try to live in the past my present is equally reprehensible. Only when I build hope for the future do I find contentment which says not all was in vain.

Each time I remember something which angered me I become saddened. “What a waste!” can be said about anything which doesn’t reach optimum conditions.

Good words for the day: Hold On!

It amazes me to see how each of us has more left inside to give. I know this about my family and friends. I suspect that is true about you too! There are pro’s and con’s to everything. If we allow ourselves liberty and move to the next stage of whatever we are about, oftentimes we learn something that was there all along but it had no way to advance. Be good to yourself and believe you will recover whatever was lost…and then some! Keep others in thought and in prayer.

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