The best tip I can make for caregiving is that when you do your best you won’t ever have to second guess “What would have happened if only I had…?”
Sometimes it sucks to be a caregiver because you can see things which other people are completely oblivious to. I can’t tell you what it takes for you to become a better caregiver. I did my best to tell you what it took for me to become a better caregiver. You are responsible for giving care to your care-receiver. You want help? Too bad. Find it yourself. You want support? Tough luck. Maybe its there and maybe it isn’t. You want somebody there to listen? Who has time to hear your sniveling? Nobody knows the future. How do you expect your little fears will be alleviated? Others have been through it. They paid the price: the fighting, the wins, the losses. Now you must do the same.
Possibly this (the previous) account of becoming a caregiver is in fact knowing the future. Allow this characterization to represent “the way it has always been” and then the stretch to “the way it will always be” isn’t so difficult to believe.
If you can be one of those who admits “I never knew caregiving was so alienating” then maybe your obliviousness can be reconciled and your soul reawakened.
But maybe you remain unaware and the day comes when possibly you do or don’t do your best. And your care-receiver is or isn’t affected. And so on until one day you find yourself on another shore. Will the “Ah ha” moment beat you there?