Formation of Coping Skills – Exercise #35 (Coping With Inadequacy)

Can anyone be held accountable for their thoughts? Are we responsible for all?

Transition your “To Do’s” from 1. Plan (what needs to be done now), and 2. See (how actual conditions have changed before you determine the next act) to 1. See (determine how to best allay immediate concerns), and 2. Plan (for future needs).

Sadly, until your mode of operation gets adjusted, becoming a better caregiver can seem rather a one dimensional effort. This is because when it comes to fulfilling every need, “you da man” (else it may not happen). Micromanager extraordinaire!

Answer these questions:

  1. What needs to be done is…
  2. What can be done about (it) is…
  3. What I must do to fill in shortcomings (the gap between 1. and 2. above) is…

How do you cope with inadequacy?

Sometimes the best you can do is tough it out. Sometimes the only thing you can do is tough it out. Sometimes toughing it out won’t be enough. What then?

Side Note: It would be interesting to do a statistical analysis of the general health of animals, both those in captivity and those having free range. How do the results of this survey compare with us (human animals)?

My sister-in-law was just diagnosed to have a precancerous growth. Is it unimaginable to think the same environment (heredity, stressors, expectations) which caused the breast cancer in my wife might also be the culprit which targeted sis? And here comes the “Sadly…” part: It is not really so difficult to know that everyone in her community (and I include myself here) is affected in varying degrees by the same circumstances. The physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health of the “kinship set” is at increased risk and the endangerment for all (those outside the set) becomes amplified when the causes of abnormal behavior are incorrectly attributed to extraneous side effects of other problems.

One last gasp before I let you go:  Had I persisted in unwillingness to change, not only would Linda’s quality of life have become severely altered, the ramifications would have extended well beyond her siblings, our parents, our children, and those who identify us as good people.

Your mission (if you accept the challenge to become a caregiver) is to bravely face situations of inadequacy so your care-receiver can take some solace there. But even should your care-receiver’s present state of affairs change radically, you must accept misery and pain and discomfort as companions while you strive to cope with inadequate provisions. All future life depends on inadequate offerings. Give better care.

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